MOVING CHANGES!!!

Hey Everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will no longer be posting anything on this blog. If you wish to continue following me or reading my posts then you are welcomed to do so at my new blog (http://eternallychanging.wordpress.com/).

I have my own personal reasons for switching sites and I sincerely hope that everyone will continue to be supportive of me.

Thank You!

Ms. Eagle

Unlike the ancestors of my past

I fly up the mountains

Gazing over their steep ridges

Having my own mind to decide

Should I stop upon that tree or sail past it and onto the next?

Where will I rest?

Do I even want to settle down?

These are my questions

No longer do I wonder about any other

I think for myself

I live for myself

My future is my own determinant

And I shall fly onwards towards the great North Star.

 

-Jessica Santos
 

© 2014 Jessica Santos

Second Layers and Second Lessons

Sitting in the grass, staring up at the rain filled clouds, I make out the memories of my past years in school. Now being in college everything seems to be a blur but I still cannot forget those moments where I would hear fellow classmates moan and groan about having a particular teacher. Almost all of the teachers I’ve had were supposedly difficult, mean or strict but after “suffering” through the class I came out smiling in pure bliss.

            I admit that at times I broke down and wondered why am I still working? Why not just give up?

            The minute I began questioning myself was the minute I knew that I had to finish. There was only one way I would be able to answer the millions of questions entering my mind and that was to finish what I had started.

            Launching myself into the “difficult” situation, I found that instead of agonizing in pain I was actually laughing and smiling more than I ever did. In time, I grew out of my shell and began to befriend the supposed monsters, or teachers. By the time the year ended, I not only gained some knowledge but I acquired a few necessary friends. Those teachers whom everyone disagreed with ended up being a big part of my life.

By the Fifth grade I had obtained a teacher who was known to be incredibly strict and everyone knew that he use to work in the military but no one outside of his class knew of his big heart. He didn’t let any kid fall below his radar and he taught me that learning can be fun with the right encouragement. Later I realized that learning isn’t fun with encouragement; it’s naturally fun as long as one makes an attempt.

Eighth grade held a teacher who was strict and difficult but even using those stereotypical words are significantly incorrect. She was a full challenge that my knowledge hungry self accepted. This teacher taught me the fundamentals to writing and she showed me that when one enjoys what they do then that individual’s work will advance all others. I’m not saying that I was that individual who advanced everyone. I had my fair share of B’s and C’s and occasionally failing grades but, when I had a passion for an assignment, I could feel my confidence soar and that feeling alone drove me to push my limits into pure bliss.

Now in high school, the number of difficult, strict and mean teachers soared.

One teacher in the ninth grade pushed me to the limit. She knew that I could do better than what the class offered so she expected more from me as the days passed. This showed me that no one should settle with who they currently are instead one should constantly be trying to improve themselves.

Sophomore year brought a few difficulties but the teachers engaged me in every way imaginable especially one crazy, strange and difficult teacher. My friend and I would sit in the second row from the front of the class and pass notes on how crazy she was for acting out in such a random matter. No one understood these strange occurrences but looking back I smile at the memories and tell myself that she probably got too worked up with the small things and this caused her to hold onto grudges and bad instances longer. Therefore, whenever I think back to when she threw a desk out of the classroom because one student kept talking about an image engraved on the desk, I chuckle quietly and silently hope that I never allow myself to get so wound up over the small things that can be quickly and calmly fixed.

Although she hardly ever gave me a decent grade due to a past grudge, she also indirectly taught me that those grades were just letters. Grades were nothing but letters based on ideas of what those letters should mean. Therefore, in one’s own heart, he/she will know whether or not they acquired that A paper or if they acquired the letter A.

Junior year quickly arrived and so I landed in another difficult and strict teacher’s class only this time I really needed some advice. I was new to the school and with this fact I was struggling to adjust but I was prepared for a new beginning, a new chapter. So I flung myself into my studies but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull myself out of my own hole.

Test after test I failed and my self esteem dropped significantly until I got so fed up with feeling terrible that I ended up taking my lunch time away just to sit in my teacher’s classroom with him present and work on difficult problems. I tear up as I think back to the moments where his colleagues would walk in and ask if he was going to play cards and eat with them but, instead of leaving me, he remained and became available whenever I needed the help. This showed me that if one were to show their sincere effort then one is not simply wasting their time or another’s. Instead that individual is doing their best to climb up and out of the hole and with the help of the individual waiting above then he/she will surely see the wide blue skies and sunshine once again.

By the time senior year had come around, I had conquered several monsters but there were still more to go. Specifically there were two teachers in senior year and both were women but both taught completely different subjects. To try and keep their lives private, I’m going to say Teacher A and Teacher B.

Teacher A was during my first semester and she was tough and strict but she told me that if a student works hard and does their best then there is no reason why he/she cannot get a decent grade. As some background information, all the students feared having her because she had so many tricks up her sleeve but, in the end, she confessed to her tricks. Not once did she ever truly exemplify the definition of being mean as many described her. She was tough but she was fair and I’m sad to say that we did not keep close in touch, but she does remember me and if she were to ever ask for my help, then I will be all to glad to help and tell anyone how great of a teacher she really is in and out of the classroom.

Teacher B was during my second semester and she was supposedly strict, difficult and mean but, in reality, it was all a big myth. The subject itself was difficult to comprehend especially since I’m not the greatest with numbers. However, she introduced the idea that group work wasn’t all that bad. Before her class, I would try to get out of group work but, after being pushed to work with others, I now see the benefits it has. No one can understand everything, especially the economy, on their own. Eventually every individual needs help and now I no longer shy away from being in a group. I embrace those opportunities and revel in them.

Overall, these teachers were supposedly said to be difficult, mean and strict but once I sat through a couple of their classes I soon realized how wrong those judgments were. Not only were they wrong but the teachers themselves held important learning curves for me. The biggest thing preventing others from seeing those small lessons is their prejudgment ideas.

Those who argue that it is the teachers fault for not understanding a subject are the ones who say the teacher is difficult, strict or mean but, in most cases, I would like to argue differently. It is not the teacher’s fault. Instead it is the fault of the students for not trusting their teachers when he/she tell their students that they are there for them. In all of the classes that I’ve ever taken, I specifically remember teachers announcing that if a student is struggling or does not understand the material then he/she can ask the teacher. They are present for our own benefit and I suggest that everyone takes full advantage of the opportunity.

However, with this said, I admit that there are a few teachers who are questionable but even those teachers bring a lesson into the classroom. One may not see the lesson at the present time but when one is sitting back and looking through their past school work then I’m sure one will acknowledge the fond, funny, chaotic or just plain random moments he/she had with a teacher. If one were to look closer as they travel down memory lane then he/she will notice a small lesson that teacher had to offer.

In the end, do not shy away from those supposed “monsters” instead take your mighty pencil of a sword and your trustee notebook of a shield and run head first into battle. It will be brutal and it will be difficult at times but one may just find glory or treasure at the end of the blood spilled valley.

Nature's Fortune Teller

Slippery Smooth Scales of a Serpent

Battered Freedom

Broken Body, Shattered Spirit

Black and blue cover these hands

Faded are the elders

But here marks a new one

Slashed into the red and plump

Nothing more than an offense

Resorting to little defense

Small battles led to this

Hear my scream, my shout

Bleeding with passion

The sound of sorrow fills these lungs

Drowning out the cries

Save me no more

Your words have cut through

I shall love in spirit

But not by body

For now it is broken

-Jessica Santos

© 2013 Jessica Santos